The First Day of the Rest of My Life

It was October 7, 2010. My wife went to the doctor for a scheduled 20 week check-up and ultrasound. She was to meet with the doctor first at 11:15 and then I would meet her for the ultrasound at 11:45. My wife called at 11:30 and asked me to come over then - it was only a few minutes from my office. When I arrived, a nurse lead me to the ultrasound room. I was excited to see our baby.

We had an ultrasound at 7 weeks to confirm pregnancy. We already had a beautiful 3 year old daughter and had no major concerns. But my wife had a nagging feeling for weeks that something might be wrong. We even argued about what roll, if any, God plays in birth defects.

When I arrived in the ultrasound room, my wife was already upset. I didn't know why. Apparently, the technician had already gone out to consult with the doctor, but he was still with another patient. The technician showed us our beautiful baby, long limbs, perfect hands and feet. She said the head was measuring a little small. We had planned on waiting to find out if it was a boy or girl, so we didn't ask.

The doctor came in about 15 minutes later. He would say the words that would forever change my life. "It's not what we expected is it?"

I had no idea anything was wrong. I was dumbstruck. "What do you mean?" I asked. Then he told us that our baby has anencephaly. I asked him to write it down because I had no idea what it was, or how to spell it.

Our doctor described to us what this likely meant for our baby - that the baby's brain had not formed and the baby would die shortly after birth. We decided that we needed to know if it was a boy or girl so that we could begin bonding with our baby. Our doctor told us it was a boy. I had secretly wanted a boy and was still excited to have a boy. We decided on the spot to name him Henry. We didn't want to waste any time not calling him by name. He is such a fighter, always very active - often holding his hands over his face like a prize fighter. We called him Henry the lion.

It would take us a while to decide on a middle name. My middle name is Cyrus, and I always wanted my kids to have the middle names of ancient kings. I thought it would be fitting for Henry. We decided on Henry Leonidas. It's a big name, but fitting for our precious little boy.